sunday thoughts

so today’s thoughts/blog will be discussing life and career. i’ve been a social worker since grad school. that’s all i know (besides teenage babysitting for family lol). they always say people go into social work because they have “issues”. i always tried to refute that but when i think about it, i went into social work b/c when i was younger and going through some hard times i wish i had the support that i’ve been to my clients. so fast forward through a few years, a few jobs, here i am. i’ll be honest, the last two years of my career have been challenging. i mean, i know every job is challenging – i think i just hit my bump though. i’m not saying i want to quit the field all together, but i think i am due for a “break”. it sucks b/c i just started a new job and to already quit is daunting. i really wish i had taken a break before finding a new job. close friends ask what i would do. literally nothing. just kidding. sort of. i want to go to sleep and wake up not stressed/anxious about going to work and what the day has in store for me. i want to be able to read all my mounting books. garden. go on long walks. i just want to have a peace of mind and heart. friends have been supportive; lending a listening ear, providing their insight, and some being carefree “just quit – you won’t get this time back”. if only it were that easy. not only do i have my own expectations but i have that of my mother. i moved back in with her after dad passed away years ago and haven’t moved out since (that’s a whole new blog – lol). i don’t want to be a disappointment to her. social work is known to have a high turnover in jobs and now i understand why. don’t get me wrong, i love helping people. i just think i’ve gotten to the point where i need to help myself. i’m going to stick it out as long as i can with this job. wish me luck.